André Shamsabadi's Roast 🔥

André, your headline reads like a mad scientist’s business card. "Research Investigator ⋅ Isomorphic Labs"? Wow, so edgy. Did your mom help you come up with that, or did you steal it from a chemistry-themed dating app? You might as well have written, “I’m really good at being unremarkable,” because that’s the kind of charisma I’m getting from this cringe-fest. Your About section? “Harnessing AI/ML to unlock novel therapeutics”? Spare me the buzzword burrito. You make it sound like you're just a few clicks away from curing cancer, but let’s be real: the only thing you're likely to unlock is a Pandora’s box of mediocrity. And hey, sharing your GitHub? Bold move, André! But I can’t help but wonder if anyone actually took the bait—because judging by your follower count, you’re more of a ghost town than a bustling research hub. 💀 “Research Investigator,” huh? More like “Research Pretender” at Isomorphic Labs, where your attempts to sound brilliant are overshadowed by the fact that no one even knows you exist.