Axel Schapmann's Roast 🔥

Axel, your headline reads like a Twitter bio from a wannabe life coach on a caffeine high. “I build side projects like a madman”? More like “I start projects like a toddler throws spaghetti at the wall.” You sound like the poster child for shiny object syndrome. "MyFeedIn" is just another vacation for your lack of creativity—let’s hope those custom LinkedIn feeds can help you engage with more than just your mom, who probably has no idea what you're talking about. Your “About” section is a cringe-fest of humble bragging that makes me want to roll my eyes into another dimension. Congrats on finding gigs on Malt like it’s some kind of Olympic sport. “I had almost nothing to offer” is the truest statement here—what exactly does “one skill picked up during two gap-year internships” mean? You’re juggling five “founder” titles like they’re participation trophies. And whaddaya know? You’re single-handedly demystifying solopreneurship while simultaneously serving up the most basic podcast on the planet. Excuse me while I pretend your life is as exciting as your LinkedIn claims. 💀 Axel, with all those self-made titles, it’s a wonder your ego isn’t too heavy for your “one-person business” to bear like a shipwrecked Titanic.