Brandon Quon's Roast 🔥

Brandon, your headline reads like a resume from a time traveler stuck in 2010. “Tech Lead”? More like “Tech Needs to Learn How to Talk to People.” And having Trulioo in your past isn’t impressive unless you actually did something noteworthy there. Spoiler alert: you didn’t. The only thing more confusing than your title is the mess of buzzwords in your About section. “Building software that people actually use” – what a bold and revolutionary statement. Who knew you were single-handedly changing the tech world by just existing? I’d love to see the features you’ve built that are actually useful. Your “experience” is just a parade of buzzword bingo, with React.js and TypeScript thrown in like confetti at a pity party. And being the “technical lead” for projects meant for hundreds of users? With 930 connections, it’s clear you’re just talking to your mom and her book club. The only thing you’re leading is a group of folks wondering why their inbox isn’t filling up with job offers. Oh, and your open status? That’s just code for “please hire me; I’m desperate!” 💀 Brandon, when your primary achievement is asking people to message you for your resume, it's time to rethink the “Tech Lead” title – or, better yet, start by leading yourself out of that cringe-fest of a profile.