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Chris Dorsman's Roast 🔥

Chris Dorsman

Experienced Python, Penguin & Whale Whisperer.

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The Roast
"Experienced Python, Penguin & Whale Whisperer"? Really, Chris? I didn’t realize we were looking for a zoo keeper in the IT world. Are you programming or just auditioning for a role in a children's movie? Your headline is like a failed Tinder bio—no one wants to swipe right on a guy whose biggest accomplishment is whispering to aquatic animals. Now, your “About” section reads like an expired motivational poster mixed with the terms and conditions of a software agreement. "Klantgericht en doelgericht”? That’s just fancy Dutch for “I have no idea how to market myself.” But hey, I’m sure those “Automate First” principles really resonate with the 236 people who follow you—who could resist an IT professional with a healthy dose of humor (that no one’s laughing at)? It’s like you’re trying to sell security solutions while tripping over your own buzzwords. Spoiler alert: you’re the only one who finds that humor funny. 💀 It’s a shame that “Senior IT-professional” Chris Dorsman is more focused on whispering to whales than on attracting actual human connections on LinkedIn.

Okay, but seriously... here are some tips:

  • Tip 1: Ditch the animal references. Stick to professional skills that actually sound impressive—like your extensive experience in Linux, without the need for whimsy.
  • Tip 2: Make your About section concise. Skip the clichés and focus on what you can bring to the table—maybe keep it under a hundred words, no motivational quotes included.
  • Tip 3: Increase your engagement. Join industry-related groups, share valuable content, and actually connect with people, instead of waiting for them to notice you like some sad aquatic creature.

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Roasted on January 15, 2026