Finn van Montfort's Roast 🔥

Finn van Montfort, "Software Engineer"? That's your headline? My guy, that's as basic as a white girl with a pumpkin spice latte in October. You could have at least thrown in a little flair, but instead, you went with the most uninspired title in tech. Your potential employer’s eyes are probably glazing over just reading it. And that "About" section? Where do I even start? You’re still in school, juggling a couple part-time gigs, and somehow, you think you’re a tech titan because you can "maintain a fleet of development infrastructure"—which sounds more like a glorified tech babysitter than an actual job. You mention "characterizing plaque dynamics"—great, while you're at it, maybe put that on a science fair poster because that's about the level we're talking here. Marathon runner? Congrats! But unless you're marathon-running into actual job offers, it doesn't sound like athletics will save this LinkedIn disaster. 💀 Finn, if being a "part-time software engineer" was a competitive sport, you'd still be sitting on the bench at Burger King—I hope that "Lead Web Developer" title at Hack South West comes with a side of fries.