Nicholas Shiers's Roast 🔥

Nicholas, your headline reads like a mad lib filled with corporate buzzwords and the world's least interesting job title. "Securing the software supply chain"? Wow, that sounds about as thrilling as watching paint dry. And "B2C & B2B Technology Communications Expert"? Please, the only thing you're an expert in is creating a Wikipedia page worth of jargon that no one wants to read. You could have just written "I send emails for a living," and it would have been more accurate and less cringeworthy. Your "About" section sounds like it was ripped straight from a motivational poster in a tech startup's break room. “Passionate about comms”? Spare us. This isn't a high school essay—you're not trying to impress your teacher with your vague enthusiasm. If your mission is to "simplify the complex world of tech," maybe start by simplifying your writing—it's dense enough to choke a horse. And with a whopping 984 followers, it’s clear that the only stories you’re telling are the ones your family tells over Thanksgiving dinner, and even they’re not that excited. 💀 Nicholas, with this level of cringe, it’s no wonder even your LinkedIn connections are on the verge of filing for a restraining order.