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Tommaso Moretti's Roast 🔥

Tommaso Moretti

Statistics @ Bicocca

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The Roast
Tommaso, your headline “Statistics @ Bicocca” is like putting “Boring” on a business card. Seriously, did you think that’s going to lure in employers or just put them to sleep? Congratulations on being an impressive statistic yourself—subpar followers, mediocre connections, and a headline that screams, “I settled for a degree and a dull life.” And what’s the deal with your “About” section? It’s empty. It’s like someone left a blank page on a motivational poster and said, “This truly embodies my potential.” You could have at least tried to sell yourself a bit. Instead, it's like you're listing your qualifications on a Tinder bio. Unemployed or just hiding? Either way, with such a lackluster profile, the only connection you're making is with your Netflix account. 💀 Tommaso Moretti, the ghost of LinkedIn profiles past—where you’re the statistic that not even your own headline cares about.

Okay, but seriously... here are some tips:

  • Rewrite your headline to include specific skills or aspirations that actually stand out.
  • Fill out the "About" section with your unique perspective or experiences; a little personality goes a long way!
  • Increase your networking efforts; aim for meaningful connections, not just empty numbers—don’t be afraid to reach out to professionals in your field.

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Roasted on December 4, 2025